So the big news is that I like to start posts with “so”, and I also just got terminated from my soul-sucking job. Or rather, I’ve been terminated for about a month and I’m leaving in two days.
Its mental toll
I wanted to quit. I’ve been saving like mad because I wanted to quit and retire early. It was evident to me and my boss that I was not delivering according to my deadlines–not that I didn’t want to, but because everything I had to do to get the books out took soooooo much time. Perhaps I was inefficient, but the more I tried the more stress I put on myself and the more frequently I became depressed and sick.
By depressed (I need to define this because I know it’s not something to take lightly), I would cry for no reason at the slightest provocation (thankfully not at work) and always want to quit and be like what’s the point. The feeling often intensified around PMS so I usually stopped thinking this after Aunt Flo had left. So many times I just wanted to run away from it all. But I am still responsible, so I showed up for work, did what I could and waited till the weekend rolled around.
I also got sick a lot more frequently, developing gastric reflux and more recently, tonsillitis, both of which I’ve since recovered from. In my previous job, I associated tension headaches with stress, but I didn’t get them as much here. Instead a persistent feeling of nausea was my constant companion (no, still not pregnant).
Looking for a job
I started job hunting in March this year, because I desperately needed to leave and yet couldn’t retire since we have a housing loan and renovations to pay for. So I looked and got an offer that was pretty promising, but then they backed out– and I found out after I’d been terminated. It was a bummer and I felt worthless. The job hunt resumed, and after lots of hoops I have an interview on Thursday with a website.
So once I realised I was only going to be working for half of April, I started doing the maths and channeling all the money I needed into the different areas, namely renovations, travel–I’m going to Taipei which apparently has a zero Waste store–housing loan etc, according to priority. I can only really stay jobless for a month, so hopefully I can find something soon.
Singing in the rain
So today (18 April) is my last day. I’ve been toiling hard to get things closer to finished in the previous weeks and now I’m just like heck it. I think getting fired can’t be bad if it means I’m more cheerful about working and I’m singing more (to myself). I also wanted to celebrate my unemployment today but nobody is up to the task, so I’ll probably go home, have dinner, watch YouTube videos and work out. I didn’t tell anyone in my office (but they all found out regardless) because I don’t want a big fuss–I just want to be left alone and go home.
In the immediate future (this week and next week) I’ve got a few things lined up, a job interview tomorrow, as well as babysitting the delivery man on Friday and Saturday as they’re sending over our house stuff, followed by a Taipei trip next week. Job wise I’ve applied to a few freelance positions, but no word from them yet. I guess I’ll likely look for positions with websites since it means I should be able to be more mobile (and work from home etc).